The Nerd Stuff
Where I pretend to know what I'm doing with computers
Look, I’ve been doing this software thing for nearly 30 years now. At this point, I’m basically just really good at Googling error messages and pretending I understood the Stack Overflow answer.
I specialise in making enterprise software that only crashes most of the time, wrangling data that should never have been stored in Excel in the first place, and drawing maps of things that probably didn’t need to be on maps.
If you need someone to stare at YAML files until 3am wondering why Kubernetes hates them, I’m your guy.
What I Do
Java & Enterprise Suffering
I've been writing code professionally since 1997 - that's nearly 30 years of asking 'have you tried turning it off and on again'. Spring Boot applications that almost work first time. I've even done Eclipse RCP which is basically a cry for help.
Poly-glut-ton
They call me a polyglot, but really I'm just a poly-glutton - I can't stop stuffing new languages into my brain even though I'm already full. JavaScript, Go, C++, C#, Java, Python... my stack overflow isn't an error, it's a lifestyle. React, Angular, Next.js, Vaadin, GWT - I don't have imposter syndrome, I have imposters syndromes, plural, one for each framework.
GIS & Getting Lost
I build real-time maps with MapLibre, Mapbox, and Leaflet. Ironically, I still can't navigate my way out of IKEA without the arrows on the floor. Built maps for 400+ users who thankfully can't complain to me directly.
Big Data & Regret
I was a 'Big Data Technical Lead' which sounds impressive until you realise I mostly just waited for Spark jobs to fail. The data usually turns out to be mostly nulls.
Knowledge Graphs & Pretentiousness
I spent years doing 'semantic web' stuff which is a fancy way of saying I drew circles and lines on whiteboards and called them 'ontologies'. RDF, SPARQL, OWL - basically alphabet soup that makes you sound clever at parties.
Cloud & AWS Invoice Shock
I'm really good at spinning up AWS resources. I'm less good at remembering to turn them off. Terraform is just expensive YAML. My credit card company sends me Christmas cards.
Embedded & Making LEDs Blink
I program microcontrollers to make LEDs blink. Sometimes I make them do other things too, but mostly it's the LED blinking that impresses people at parties. The magic smoke stays inside about 80% of the time.
Interested in Working Together?
I'm available for consulting engagements, technical reviews, and project partnerships.
Get In Touch